The Eyes Will Frighten You, The Hands Will Deliver You

“ Mom, I can’t do it… it’s too much; I’ll never finish”, the little girl on the high chair dangles her feet and leans her head behind, fixating a point on the ceiling. Her spoiled brat persona takes over, and with a whiny voice, she plays her cards, hoping that mother will agree to spare her from the chores.

 “ The eyes will frighten you; the hands will deliver you,” the mother responds and keeps going with her work.

Behind her hazel bangs, the little girl watches the mother taking another pod from the massive pile on the table, sorting the green peas in the bowl, and throwing away the rest of the vegetables, with an inner smile, calmly waiting for her daughter’s decision. There is a pot on the stove, and the lid makes a rhythmic sound, measuring time upon its own thermodynamic rules.

The restless short legs now move slower, and the little girl bites the insides of her mouth, still trying to waste some time. She watches her mother across the kitchen table, puzzled by her attitude. Mom doesn’t seem impressed by the green mountain of peas. She is also not impressed by the little princess’ escape attempts.

Now the lid counts a bit faster, and it takes only three beats for the little girl to reach the closest pod. Her untrained fingers finally break the vegetable, letting the peas jump on the table in all directors. Mother comes closer, demonstrating once again how to handle each pod. They work in silence for several minutes, accompanied by the percussion sounds of pea balls, dropping into the glass dishes, rolling hypnotically like mercury drops. The pile is still there, and it seems like their attempts are not going to make a difference.

 “Pass me your bowl,” the mother says, emptying hers into the bigger one, laying to her left side, behind that impossible pile. The little girl stands and bends across the table, glancing surprised at the rising level of peas, in the collecting pot, where the mother adds the princess’ insignificant harvest.

The empty bowl is returned to the little girl. She drops five peas in the bowl… then nine… then six… there is already a green layer in her dish. She then focuses on adding another layer. It is her and her little transparent bowl.

Mother stands, busy with the pot on the stove. The little girl is now all absorbed in her little “watch the green level rise” game. And the pile is just getting smaller.

The words of my mother stayed with me. I came to appreciate her attitude towards the hardships of life only in my adulthood age. She is a person of action, an educator by example. Nudging is not her thing. In my childhood, long debates and explanations have usually been cut short by a wise saying that would simply resume the discussion and invite me to make my choice.

Most of my mom’s sayings are inspired by Anton Pann’s proverbs, a traditional minstrel who lived in Romania in the middle of the 19th century. As a lover and fine connoisseur of his verses and sayings, my mom is simply too difficult to argue with. Here are some of the other sayings she borrows from Anton Pann:

 Drop by drop fills the lake.

 That’s how this world is: people laugh at people and the devil laughs at everyone.

 Don’t step on the sleeping snake.

 Only the earth covers the mouth of the world.

 Where there is a lot of mind, there is also a lot of madness.

Several times in my life, I have felt discouraged by how hard or complicated a task or a project would appear. By merely unfolding into my mind’s eyes what was about to come, the many steps, the intricacies of that project, the so many unknowns, the entire “pile” of things to do, I was almost breathless and wanted to flee.

Yet, as water insinuates through stones and pebbles, my mother’s words would always reach back to me, encouraging me to start. My “hands” eventually would do what they know best, start working, and push me to set the first layer and then move on from there.

Thus, she planted into me the will to try. And this is one of the main drivers of the challenges that I have taken until the present day. Her acts are always about demonstrating love instead of preaching it. Her behavior is about step by step perseverance in daily life. Her attitude is to let you choose your way.

The way forward might prove to be tough, not only to appear tough, but regardless of the going, I am always reminding myself that “ The eyes might frighten me, but the hands will deliver me.