Letters for the Loved Ones in Our Lives

 “The books we read are both to lift ourselves on our toes to see further and to bend on our knees to look deeper into our souls”, writes Igor Guzun, a poet whom I love from the Republic of Moldova. His words have followed me when reading books, especially fiction, which I find enriching our souls and imagination.

 I recently found myself reading a short Japanese novel published in 2012 — If Cats Disappeared from the World. Despite dealing with death (the main character has only days to live), this book is a mediation on love, connection, and the importance of even the smallest or insignificant thing in the fabric of life and the world. There is a passage in this book where the main character receives a letter from his mother, who has died some time ago; the message is meant to help him when he is at a low point in his life, and what better moment than after finding out that he is about to die? The letter goes like this:

I decided to write down ten beautiful things about you, so whenever you’re going through a difficult time, you’ll be given the courage and self-belief to go on. So instead of a list of ten things I want to do before I die, this is what I wrote. Things that are beautiful and good about you: When people are sad, you’re able to cry along with them. And when people are happy, you’re able to share your joy with them. You look really sweet when you’re asleep. Your dimples when you smile.Your habit of rubbing your nose when you’re worried or anxious.Your concern for needs of others. Whenever I caught a cold you helped with the housework and acted like you enjoyed doing it. You always ate whatever I cooked as if it were the most delicious thing in the World. How you’d think deeply and ponder over things. And after all that brooding, you always seemed to come up with the best solution to the problem. As you go on with your life, always remember the things that are good in you. They’re your gifts. As long as you have these things, you’ll find happiness, and you’ll make the people around you happy. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. And goodbye. I hope you always keep hold of these things that are so beautiful about you.

I read this; it sounded like love was transformed into poetry. After some time, I realized how valuable it is to share the beautiful and good things with those we love. We tend to say I love you, as if these three words synthesize everything we want to express, as if it is an all-encompassing blanket that spares us of any elaboration. What if we decided to elaborate and to actively reflect on what we appreciate about our loved ones? I think writing a few letters to those we love can heal and refresh the meaning of our lives. Starting from this idea, I have decided to write my three letters to my loved ones. I share these with the word-loving people on Medium, who might be inspired by this, as I was inspired by Genki Kawamura’s fictional letter.

Letter to my first secret recipient  

Things that are beautiful and good about you:- The way your face melts with love when you are around animals.- How your mind perseveres when faced with problems, deconstructing everything into smaller parts that make sense and operate upon universal laws.- Your voice when you are telling stories.- How you are never scared of effort, pain, or discomfort.- Your endless creativity in preparing omelets.- You read people’s character in a glimpse and see beyond position or influence.- How you enjoy sweets and sun, and waves and simple living.- The way you put yourself in service of others, to solve, to heal, to help.- How you are always surrounded by beautiful music.- How you drive, as if the car was part of your being.

Letter to my second secret recipient

Things that are beautiful and good about you:- How you bring life and joy to every place you go.- How beautiful and soft your skin is.- When you guess that I need something, then casually send it to me as if it were unimportant.- How fierce you are when defending those you love.- Your fragility and shyness when you need somebody else’s help.- How you let us play smart and then silently forgive us when we come back to common sense.- Your infinite love for animals of all kinds and all species.- How you magically make plants grow.- How you stood up by yourself to everyone and made yourself your own person.- How beautiful you are, from head to toe.

Letter to my third secret recipient 

Things that are beautiful and good about you:- How you look me in the eyes, as if nothing of what I could be, do or say, could ever shatter your acceptance of me.- How you make bubbles when you dive your nose under the water.- When you enjoy a good sleep in the sun in the lounge chair, as if the world is the perfect, safest place where nothing can go wrong.- How you trust people.- Your grace, resilience, and patience when you went through surgeries and injections, and so many medical procedures.- Your happiness when we go on a trip.- Your kindness with cats and birds.- How we share even the tiniest space, just to touch each other.- Your loving presence.- The voices you make into a song-like call, to send out your impatience to the world.

These are our gifts. From the letters I wrote, one will never reach its recipient, since that being is no more. Yet, my love did not diminish, and writing such a letter is just another way of letting this feeling manifest. The other two, I want to share them in time. I will not wait for the others to go to their low point in life. Today is a good time to let them know what is behind I love you. Manifesting our appreciation for those we love in the format of 10 short sentences sounds like a simple task, and it is if we take a little break and let our love surge. That will make the words come out by themselves, like a bushfire of gratitude. Words are gifts for us all.